to all my friends , new and old...

Happiest of Holidays.... may the memories made today and every day, last a lifetime.
Best wishes....
Steph

silence...

The wee miss has developed laryngitis, and per doctors orders, her Christmas holidays have begun early. Poor girl. Somehow, in her snowflake cutting euphoria, I don't think she minds. She has taken to adorning each flake with a single sequin in the center... very cute. I am thinking of helping her create a crafting blog of her own... she is crafty beyond belief for her 11 tender years. She knits! Not a lot...but she does... and she crafts with paper, and anything else she can get her hands on. Perhaps tomorrow morning we will start that. OK...after many tries at striking out that line..and ending up with everything after it struck out... no matter how many times I deleted the html from the end of the post..it kept showing up so.. my baby girl and i got her blog framework up, her first post will be written tomorrow, most likely during a paper snowflake break. Here it is. She has been decorating gingerbread houses ala
Jenny Harris ... so much fun. Okay... so I have been playing too -grins-
Dishcloths are beginning to make a small pile... Mum's request.... some bags from this tutorial are cut and ready to sew.... cloth napkins and placemats are next... not sure the wristlets are going to make it by Christmas... I finally figured out one spot I was making a mistake in.. to being bogged down with meds and not fathoming the next step well.
Some small wee felt dolls are progressing in their assembly as well. A set for the we miss... a set for an friends daughter... to be epiphany gifts... and then a third set fo an online friend whose daughter is having surgery in Feb and will be bedridden for 10 days... I am thinking to make some wee felt furniture for them too... or maybe a tiny fabric house... something she can play with in bed and not hurt herself on should she fall asleep with it all.
I will try to update this tomorrow with some pictures.. it is quite dark and not condusive to picture taking tonight at all.

I should be asleep...

The wee miss and I have been ill again...hooray for upper respiratory illness...not. I have slept away most of the last two days, and was feeling blog withdrawal so got up to do a bit of reading.

Feeling a bit ... screwed today. For lack of a better way to put it. Having someone around with an eating disorder that involved binging and purging, is a bit like having a crack addict around., Things go missing. Money goes missing. Things and money that are needed. Badly. -sighs- So I am now the proud owner of .17$ and trying to figure out how to fill holiday stockings for the little two..I have a few things tucked aside, thanks to my Mum, but ... the rest?
Add to that, my second oldest son, the one I am closest to of the boys, called me tonight to let me know that he was going to be meeting with a Marine recruiter. He is my biggest source of support here, the one I know I can count on. And... there is a good chance that fairly soon, he won't be here. I know he has to do what he has to do for his own future... but when his older brother went into the Marine's it was hard as hell on all of us, we are a close family, and having one of the kids 'gone' is... difficult all the way around. I will, of course, support his decision, either way.
Missing an old friend .
Realizing the end of a marriage that has been over for 5 years almost... but oddly this is our first holiday season on our own. Not a bad thing, just the realization of it.
A busy mind and heavy heart tonight.

the spoils...

of the wee misses 11th birthday cookie decorating party .... the plate the cookies are on? Is a turkey platter...to give a small reference for how many cookies we were left with, lol. And cupcakes, too. Snuck in the gingerbread house we decorated on her actual birthday, what a fun project that was. Next year (we are planning ahead!) we will do miniature gingerbread houses that I will assemble in advance and they will all decorate. She is saving all her birthday money for an American Girl doll. Pardon the pics...they are taken with webcam, but it was that or none, so I am going with being able to have pics... if I can figure out how to post them that is.
Started on some wristlets for the girls (bigger) for Christmas, in a chocolate brown and robins egg blue. -whispers- They are crocheted, not knit, because I can crochet WAY faster than I can knit... makes no sense, one hok instead of two needles being faster, but... I guess that is because I have been crocheting since I was 8 or so... and knitting since err.... recently. A year now? And that has been sporadic at best... hmm..... make that two years. Or so.
I bought the fusible interfacing for these. They will become teachers gifts, our driver's gifts, a wonderful lady named 'Ginny's" gift, and various other neighbors etc.
Another storm due in tonight.... ah winters in the northeast... such...bliss. -coughs- Ok... I am trying to like winter this year, or at least, not hate it. I am embracing mittens and hats and hot cocoa and all things cozy.

Message from the Universe

so perfect for today, as I look toward the new year and ...hope.
" You can "dance" with the illusions of time and space, Steph, choosing your "steps" based upon things and events as they now are, or you can dance with your dreams, choosing your "steps" based upon things and events as they will be.

And I bet you can guess which steps will perpetuate today's illusions, and which ones will change everything...

The Universe"

Owies

So, I finally found a pattern or two for the hood/scarf combo... to learn what I want is basically a wide scarf, folded in half... and sewn together for about 10 inches...to create the hoot part. So now my favorite yarn will become something warm to wear for winter walks. Yay! Then... I somehow got a very painful papercut on the end of my left thumb. Right where the yarn runs over it. Ouch. No more knitting today.
A bit late for this year (I am NOT a quick knitter...yet) but over on Soule Mama's blog she made a beautiful i-cord garland. I am so doing that for next year. I think this weekends craft project will be cinnamon applesauce ornaments for the tree. It is also time to whip up a batch...big batch... of one of our favorite hot cocoa's.

25.5 ounces nonfat dry milk powder
16 oz jar powdered non-dairy creamer
16 oz container presweetened cocoa powder (we used nestle quick)
13 oz jar instant malted milk powder
1 cup sifted powdered sugar
To use: combine equal parts mix and boiling water (we just use a few heaping spoonfuls per muc, to taste, and add a dash of milk or cream)
Combine all the ingredients in a large bow, . Package in canning jars, bags tucked into mugs, decorative jars, cannisters and what have you to give as gifts. Save some for home, this stuff is wonderful on chilly winter days.
Enjoy!

Alas, despite ALL my begging....

Mother Nature has turned a deaf ear and we have...snow. -insert long-drawn, overlay dramatic sigh here- Ok. I'll survive. It's just winter, right? Right.
Ugh.
I live in the northeast, have almost my entire 43 years.... and still not made peace with winter. It's the rest of the seasons that kep me here or I would high tail it for warmer climes. Ok... that and my offspring. They aren't all portable now.
So... I have some lovely yarn, bought from Elan two years ago. A few skeins got seperated from the rest in moving, so it won't be what I had originally planned, and now hope to make it into some kind of... hood like from a cozy cape, with a scarf attached. Now to find a pattern -grins- though I am rather tempted to just start knitting and see what happens. The little Princess and Golden Boy have taken up their needles again as well. I don't force craftiness on the kids, but rather leave the materials around for them, and always drop whatever I am doing if they wish a refresher.
Around here there are no longer any wonderful little cozy yarn or fabric shops outside the mainstream. The closest of the knit heavens is in Saratoga Springs, an hour away, and without a car, that doesn't happen often. But... I have found a pattern online that I have absolutely got to have. Sewing pattern that is... for this. I think I am officially in love with Amy Butler patterns. They may in fact be my new crafting crack.
Of to the counselor in a couple for CiCi. She has her good days and her not so good, Thankfully the bad are far and few between these days. I need to begin work on a 504 for a child with an eating disorder. Will google that a bit later. I know this blog is fairly unread right now, but... if anyone out there has thoughts on this, I would love to hear them.
Til later.

Time flies ...

It's taking a bit to get back in the habit of blogging. I know soon enough it will be old hat again, in the meantime two weeks pass between posts, lol.
I found a wonderful new blog, which has all but saved Christmas gift giving for me this year. Sew, Mama, Sew! She has a ton of wonderful projects there, and this month is posting a gift a day! My stash will be put to good use making placemats, purses, tote bags and all manner of other wonderful ideas, complete with instructions.
While going through my fabric I found a bag filled with partially made Christmas ornaments. What a relief to know a bit of stuffing and whipstitching and we will have a tree's worth of ornaments.
The weather is taking on the feel of early winter, fall was short but beautiful, the tree's are nearly bare here but for a few hangers on.
Sunday we will be having our Thanksgiving meal. With half the kids grown and on their own, significant others and extended family in their lives I decided not to vie for time on Thanksgiving itself and have the whole family here on Sunday instead. If this works we will most likely stick to this in the future. The kids will all be here, with boyfriends or girlfriends in tow, my parents, a few friends and perhaps my ex. It's his family too after all. Trying to figure seating out and table space. The new house is much smaller than the last. I found some fall fabric in the hope chest and will make a table runner for the main table. Along with the fabric pumpkin a friend who still means the world to me made, even though our paths seem to have gone in very different directions.
This time of year makes me appreciate the people in my life all the more. And miss those who aren't in it as they once were. I especially miss being a 'couple' with the holidays coming. I often wonder if the rest of my life will be spent this way. I like to think that somewhere out there is the perfect relationship for me. Somewhere. -smiles-

Inspiration in quiet moments...

I have come across two things tonight that have struck a chord with me ...
"Real life is the best fairy tale" Ain't that the truth? Life is full of some rough roads, but it sure makes the sweet moments ever so full of bliss.
The other 'thing' isn't a thing at all really, but, a way of life. I think it is what I have been longing for for weeks, no, months now, and couldn't pinpoint. It is called Hygge. Yeah..I made that face too. What the -heck- is Hygge? And why would I want it. I am going to borrow from another site, one I link to in the sidebar, to explain it, as they explain it so absolutely perfectly.

The Danish word Hygge (hu-gah) is a feeling or mood that comes from taking genuine pleasure in making ordinary everyday things simply extraordinary; whether it's using real lights on a Christmas tree or breaking out the good wine when friends come over. It's about owning things you only truly love or that inspire, being present in yourself and your life, putting effort into your home without being Martha Stewart or buying a bed in a bag. It's about being conscious and authentic from home to work to friends to celebrations and making all events {no matter how big or small, mundane or exciting} matter. Words like cosiness, security, familiarity, comfort, reassurance, fellowship, simpleness and living well are often used to describe the idea of Hygge.

Some refer to Hygge as the Art of Creating Intimacy (with yourself, friends and home). Technology and modern day busy-ness has removed Americans from themselves, their homes and ordinary tasks, making them feel as though these things are hard to do, have no importance or are too time-consuming. Danes, however, only like to do things that are fun, nourish the soul and are familiar so they find ways to incorporate that into their daily life. By creating simple rituals without effort {such as brewing real tea with a little china cup every evening to stopping at the farmers market every week to buy flowers} the Danes see both the domestic and personal life as an artform and not every drudgery to get away from.

Taking pride in what you have now and not just what you dream are part of Danish life and Hygge. Think of it as what Chic is to the French; a lifestyle that can explain a table top to a dinner party to a charming house or a personal way of being. Basic, uncomplicated, unexaggerated - Hygge!

So... tomorrow morning I will unearth my Great Grandmothers (I always called her GiGi) tea cups... and drink my morning tea... with her. -smiles-

Autumn rolls on

A few days back the neighbors had a pumpkin carving party for all the neighborhood kids, some wonderful masterpieces were made with the help of some very brave adults. Pictures coming soon on this, I hope. =P

My sister in law has recently been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Scary stuff, Thankfully this is a very treatable cancer. She will have her thyroid removed and then a dose of radioactive iodine? then a large change in diet and drugs.

CiCi is doing better, she was hospitalized briefly after a stomach virus. Her bulemia has her always on the edge of being low on potassium. Vomiting pushed her over the edge. She went downhill so fast that I was calling the ambulance just hours after she started vomiting. We were there just over 24 hours. IV's for fluids and 4 bags of potassium were all that was needed. All. Funny how I am thankful for that. I am hoping the hospital stay was the medical equivalent of scared straight. She is making great effort to eat small amounts and keep it down.

The weather turns cool and I am thinking of the holidays ahead. In a new place. Looking forward to some new memories being made. I am tired tonight, and still not quite up to speed on 'blogging ' again. Give it time and 'you' will be swamped in posts.

May your days be full of sweet memories.

lightbulb moment

In perusing knitting sites and blogs tonight.... I had the wonderful realization that I can now felt. At the old house...there was no hot water hook up to the washing machine... so felting would have been a huge pain in the arse...here... there is. =) Now to find some yummy wool yarns.
I would love to make ThePrincess a cute little felted purse for her birthday.

Randomness.... also known as 'No Inspiration for catchy post title'

Hmmm guess I am not ready to be posting my heart here just yet. -wry smile- I had something posted and ended up backspacing it. I am missing a friend dearly and thought to share, but I can't. It doesn't make sense to someone outside of this. And my friend already knows my heart, so. That is that. There is also an unhealthy relationship that has been painfully slowly ending since March and is in the final stages of fizzling out I think. Not easy.

I discovered two days ago, after emptying storage from our last move, that I have for the third time in my adult life, lost all our Christmas decorations. Things the littlest kids made. Things from a very special online Christmas ornament exchange... that can never ever be replaced. And with money as tight -laughs at the understatement- it will be interesting to decorate a tree at all this year. So, time to get creative. Time to make use of the hope chest full of fabric. I am SO glad this was discovered now, and not when we were ready to decorate for the holiday. I am going to scour the net for some pretty ideas that the kids can help me make. Turn this into a positive. This recent move was a fresh start for me and the three youngest. This will be our fresh start tree too. I think we will bake cookies one day soon, make some hot cocoa and sit down and plan a theme of sorts, and colors maybe? and every week make -something- for the tree or house. Did find a nice surprise though... the materials and some finished dolls from this book...thinking some in natural colors (hmm... natural quilt batting instead of cream coloured felt maybe) would be pretty angels..or pale blues and greens for ice princesses to adorn our tree.

CiCi still struggles with her bulemia. She is maintaining medically, which right now is all we can ask for. It breaks my heart watching her struggle with this. She doesn't want to get better. =( She does however, finally have a counselor she will talk to.

TheGoldenBoy is getting so big! Hard to believe he will be in Jr High next year. Where has the time flown. (said as her 23yo takes up residence in her basement) He is nearly as tall as me now. And still so passionate emotionally. I am glad his older brothers are around a bit more now, being a positive example in his life. His dad sucks..and a guy needs a guy around. He is surrounded by us girls.

ThePrincess is doing wonderful. Diabetes is getting under control again and she is putting on weight and growing. -grins- She is destined to be something artistic in life. That girls imagination has not slowed even one small bit.

Speaking of Artistic MissB is an art major this year. Wow on that. I am so damned proud of her for following her dreams.

RP has just given up being on his own to move in with his dad.. for the chance to go to college as well. Big step. Im very proud of him for realizing small sacrifice for something so life changing. Perhaps his and MissB's lives will affect TheWizard's life as well. I want so much more for him than he sems to have the energy to pursue on his own right now. Being in the marines changed him. And not all for the good. Makes a mom wonder what he saw.


I am rather at a loss for how to form my thoughts today. They are a bit scattered. CiCi is cooking up a nice dinner tonight of chicken tenderloins, rice and veggies. She so loves to cook. Funny... since the move, we fight over cooking dinner. Some nights is a race to see who gets there first. Occasionally we even share the kitchen space ;)

Humpday and hoops...

Woke up at 5.... I am loving the quiet in the early morning hours when I can go through the blogs I read and see what sales have been made in SL while I was sleeping. I am still small enough to smile over each sale... whether it be a tiny vase or a copy of the Pirate's Nest Castle. Odd to think a year ago..I was going to bed in the morning... and while I refuse to admit I am any sort of 'morning person' -shudders- I am regularly up early... even on the weekends...when sleeping 'in' might be the glorious hour of 7 or 8.
So today marks one less hoop to jump through. It's so good to be on this end of the ordeal..instead of facing it like a mountain in front of us. Our family has made many changes since the beginning of the year. What was once a challenge to look at as positive when it was a struggle to single-handedly enforce...is now comfortable habit for all of us. Clear as mud, eh? I'm really not wanting to relive it all by spelling it out here... so if you are not already in the loop... you shall have to live with your assumptions, wonderings and guesses. -grins- BUT. Life is good. Very good indeed.
Had a fantastic talk with my oldest daughter.. my first child to go to college. An Art major. I am so damned proud of her and excited for her at this amazing opportunity she has. Listening to her voice as she talks of her classes, friends, schedule that is packed... she is happy. It's in her voice. And it makes me smile.
Oh yes..I have 6 children. They are all usually up to something but don't expect something about each of them in every post, lol. That would be a daunting undertaking.
After the kids are in school this afternoon I think I will celebrate both this last hoop and Autumn... and meditate over peeling apples. An apple crisp is definitely in order... and we have all the ingredients right here. Richard took the youngest two...the "A's" apple picking last weekend, so there is a half bushel of crisp apples... picked after the first frost. Perfect.
Im hoping later to figure out how to set up a blogroll... to list my very varied interests through the blogs I read and sites I love. But for now... the house grows busy and there are short folk who need me, so I'm over and out.
Ta Ra
Tally

Hello world...

It's been a long time since I have opened myself up on a blog. A -very- long time. I had thought to write here the reasons I gave up my blog... but really it doesn't matter -smiles- I am what I am. What I have always been. A mother... a crafter... an online game player... a baker. And so much more.