Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I should be asleep...

The wee miss and I have been ill again...hooray for upper respiratory illness...not. I have slept away most of the last two days, and was feeling blog withdrawal so got up to do a bit of reading.

Feeling a bit ... screwed today. For lack of a better way to put it. Having someone around with an eating disorder that involved binging and purging, is a bit like having a crack addict around., Things go missing. Money goes missing. Things and money that are needed. Badly. -sighs- So I am now the proud owner of .17$ and trying to figure out how to fill holiday stockings for the little two..I have a few things tucked aside, thanks to my Mum, but ... the rest?
Add to that, my second oldest son, the one I am closest to of the boys, called me tonight to let me know that he was going to be meeting with a Marine recruiter. He is my biggest source of support here, the one I know I can count on. And... there is a good chance that fairly soon, he won't be here. I know he has to do what he has to do for his own future... but when his older brother went into the Marine's it was hard as hell on all of us, we are a close family, and having one of the kids 'gone' is... difficult all the way around. I will, of course, support his decision, either way.
Missing an old friend .
Realizing the end of a marriage that has been over for 5 years almost... but oddly this is our first holiday season on our own. Not a bad thing, just the realization of it.
A busy mind and heavy heart tonight.

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